Here are really two or three reasons that I discovered – keeping this on an even playing field so as not to offend anyone – and I will share…though they are subjective and not a true science…so don’t refer to them as a Dr. Phil know-all insightful episode!
The most blazing obvious reason is as I am sure you have all guessed…drum roll please…SEX! Yes, indeed. Was there any doubt? We try and deny it…that the reach out must be much deeper than that, however, it is what it is…and that is sex. It may not play out like that…perhaps there is a suggestion that you go to for a drink or dinner and conjures up the reaction “you won’t believe who called me today”, and I would reply, “yes, I can”. The suggestion to get together starts a chain reaction in the brain…is he/she wanting me back; do I want them back; oh the times were so good…it is the same old story. Unfortunately, it very rarely works out and it boils down to the fact that someone is going through a drought in their sex life and it is a lot easier to put feelers out there to see how an old familiar partner reacts than trying to find someone new! If you are into it…great…just don’t expect anything formidable other than the potential climax, to come out of the situation.
Another reason for the “Hey…just calling to see ‘how you are doing’”…is exactly that. This option is probably true about 20% of the time. Perhaps they really do want to know how things are going, what wonderful things you are doing and they want to share in what they hope is your happiness! Very sweet. Reality check. The other 80%…you guessed it…sex. Once again, that three letter word appears. Does the Ex truly care or are they fishing? Chances are, 50 % that is (guestimation of course) they want sex.
The last and equally less likely reason as the one above is they want to know if they have a chance at reconciliation. They realize they have made a terrible mistake. You were the one…the only…not a soul is anything like you. They remember your nuances; the way you tossed your hair; the way you held the back of their neck as you went in for the kiss…you know…the ones they despised during the break up.? It is all very romantic…especially if it is the one thing we had been waiting for…alas…it is likely, in fact more than likely, that they have filled up their contacts in their little black book (and we all have them) have been there and done that…and there is nothing like your favourite comfy chair or blanket to turn to when you are in need.
Sex. Sex. Sex.
It is not to say that they don’t have feelings for you in some manner, but it is likely never to work out…and it is of my opinion not to look back but keeping moving forward. Onward and upward as they say!
Isn’t it true that out of the blue after you have successfully moved on whether it be 6 months, 1, or 2 years later and just rediscovering your “happy”, that “ex” just seems to pop back into your life at the most inopportune time? Whether it be through an innocuous text, bbm or email, they manage to catch you off guard with a little “hey, what’s up?” Why is it th.at this is such a common occurrence? It at first seemed to be a phenomenon experienced only by that of women, but after some research and multiple conversations, it actually holds true to both sexes!
Here are really two or three reasons that I discovered – keeping this on an even playing field so as not to offend anyone – and I will share…though they are subjective and not a true science…so don’t refer to them as a Dr. Phil know-all insightful episode!
The most blazing obvious reason is as I am sure you have all guessed…drum roll please…SEX! Yes, indeed. Was there any doubt? We try and deny it…that the reach out must be much deeper than that, however, it is what it is…and that is sex. It may not play out like that…perhaps there is a suggestion that you go to for a drink or dinner and conjures up the reaction “you won’t believe who called me today”, and I would reply, “yes, I can”. The suggestion to get together starts a chain reaction in the brain…is he/she wanting me back; do I want them back; oh the times were so good…it is the same old story. Unfortunately, it very rarely works out and it boils down to the fact that someone is going through a drought in their sex life and it is a lot easier to put feelers out there to see how an old familiar partner reacts than trying to find someone new! If you are into it…great…just don’t expect anything formidable other than the potential climax, to come out of the situation.
Another reason for the “Hey…its the ex, just calling to see ‘how you are doing’”…is exactly that. This option is probably true about 20% of the time. Perhaps they really do want to know how things are going, what wonderful things you are doing and they want to share in what they hope is your happiness! Very sweet. Reality check. The other 80%…you guessed it…sex. Once again, that three letter word appears. Does the Ex truly care or are they fishing? Chances are, 50 % that is (guestimation of course) they want sex.
The last and equally less likely reason as the one above is they want to know if they have a chance at reconciliation. They realize they have made a terrible mistake. You were the one…the only…not a soul is anything like you. They remember your nuances; the way you tossed your hair; the way you held the back of their neck as you went in for the kiss…you know…the ones they despised during the break up.? It is all very romantic…especially if it is the one thing we had been waiting for…alas…it is likely, in fact more than likely, that they have filled up their contacts in their little black book (and we all have them) have been there and done that…and there is nothing like your favourite comfy chair or blanket to turn to when you are in need.
Sex. Sex. Sex.
It is not to say that they don’t have feelings for you in some manner, but it is likely never to work out…and it is of my opinion not to look back but keeping moving forward. Onward and upward as they say!
