Sometimes its difficult to decipher when your relationship is over.
When you’re invested in a relationship that seems to be growing apart, it’s hard to decide whether to end it or to keep trying. If you’re not the one creating the distance you may be hoping it’s just a growing pain that will work itself out and land you in a stronger, healthier place. Sadly, often one person in the relationship has ‘left’ emotionally before the other person even realizes there’s an irreparable problem, and there are endless chart-topping hits that will attest to this. In ‘You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling’ The Righteous Brothers provide an excellent example of a failing relationship and good background music for a cleansing cry.
Here are 5 other tell-tale signs the relationship is over:
- They’ve found outside interests that keep them away from home during the hours you’re there. Unless it’s been brought up and you’ve expressed no interest in participating, this could definitely be their attempt to put physical distance between the two of you.
- Getting secretive, hiding their phone or closing their laptop when you walk into a room. Unless your birthday is coming up and a surprise party is in the works, this is not a good sign. There’s something they don’t want you seeing. They could be making plans with someone else or looking for things to do that don’t include you, either way, there are not a lot of good reasons to hide what they’re doing from you.
- Abruptly changing the subject when you’re within earshot. If you walk in on a conversation already underway and the subject is abruptly changed, (and again, it’s not your birthday,) you can sense it. It’s a horrible feeling, a partner does not humiliate the one they love. They don’t make their partner feel like an outsider to a conversation in progress.
- Rudeness or inconsiderate behaviour. Love leaves the room when disdain enters it. There is no room big enough for the two. If your relationship has devolved to the point where being civil to each other is becoming increasingly more rare, it’s over. It’s extremely difficult to come back from that, and I don’t think you should want to. Once you let someone treat you badly, the respect is gone, theirs for you and you for yourself.
- Withdrawal of affection. If you start noticing that intimate gestures are becoming rare or non-existent; like you’re no longer greeted with a kiss when you come home from work, or kissed goodbye when you leave the house. If you no longer hold hands when walking together, or there is a coldness in his/her eyes when they look at you, the general lack of intimacy often means the relationship is on life support. If this is happening in combination with any of the other signs, a break-up usually follows.
All relationships are opportunities to learn something about ourselves. Some relationships aren’t meant to last forever, they happen for the sole purpose of teaching us something. For example; if you’ve found yourself tolerating inconsiderate behaviour, the lesson may be to value yourself. We get what we believe we deserve. We may say we deserve the best, but if we’re not experiencing it, we don’t truly believe it. So if you’re trying to decide whether or not a relationship is over because you can relate to any of the signs above, pat yourself on the back, then pack a bag. You will not be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t deserve you, and that’s the first step to attracting someone who does!