Do you ever feel like you’re not being heard in your relationship or that everything somehow seems to be your fault? Do you find yourself constantly apologizing and feeling guilty when you didn’t do anything wrong, to the point that you start believing that maybe you did do something wrong? Maybe you start questioning yourself, wondering if you are the one who is wrong and you really did do something to make your partner angry. Do you feel like your partner has a giant ego, that they never seem to take responsibility and are unable to compromise? Have you gone from being confident with yourself to feeling unsure and anxious all the time, almost as if you are walking on eggshells? If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, or feel like this is you to a tee, you might be dating a narcissist.
Dating a narcissist can often feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster; sometimes things are going okay, but it never seems to last for long. This is a really dangerous relationship to be in because it will suck the life out of you and completely diminish your self-esteem. You can lose yourself so quickly, so you need to be able to spot the following red flags. You need to be able to recognize the behaviour of a narcissist so that when you see these red flags, you either put an end to the relationship or you come up with a solution that works – don’t wait until you have lost a part of yourself. Here are some red flags to look out for that will help you spot a narcissist.
How to tell if you’re dating a narcissist:
- They are looking for constant praise and admiration.
- They bully, intimidate and belittle you.
- They are never wrong, and if they are caught doing something wrong, they immediately shift the blame.
- They love bomb, overwhelming you with compliments and gifts and attention. This is their way of reeling you in before they show their true colours. After they have you, the criticism and insults will begin to pour in when you least expect it.
- They are master manipulators, sometimes doing it so well that you don’t even realize it.
- It is all about power and control to them.
- They don’t have many long-lasting friendships in their lives.
- They do not accept or deal well with criticism; they like to dish it out but have a hard time taking it.
- They like to talk about themselves and think they’re so great and so smart.
- They lack empathy.
- They are selfish and hypocritical.
- They are short-tempered and can become explosive very quickly.
- They constantly make you feel guilty.
- They have a sense of entitlement.
- They are arrogant.
If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who shows these signs, you need to remind yourself that you can do better. You are worth it; you don’t deserve to be treated this way. It is wise to lean on your friends for support and to talk it out with them. Do not mask how you are feeling and make excuses for this person – you need to know that this type of behaviour is not okay. You may even need therapy if you have been in this type of relationship for a long time. It is abusive and can have a severe negative effect on your self-esteem and well-being. If you want to try to help them and they don’t want it, you need to leave this relationship. You shouldn’t allow someone like this to bring you down. I know it can be hard when you have been with someone and don’t want to be alone, but trust me, you will be much happier without being belittled and picked on by someone you love.
I hope these red flags will help anyone out there who thinks they may be dating a narcissist or is getting into a relationship with someone who is showing these signs. Remember it’s okay to not be okay, as long as you do something about it!