Kissing on the First Date: To Kiss or Not to Kiss?


Kissing on the first date is a matter of preference:

To kiss, or not to kiss? First dates are fascinating affairs, are they not? And Kissing on the first date is one of the most common topics I get asked about when it comes to dating!

Sometimes that initial encounter is riveting – laden with enjoyable conversation, reciprocal smiles, flirtatious touching, and provocative eye-contact. Yes, some first dates do live up to the hype. 

Other times, that first date isn’t so memorable. Crickets chirp in the background while your mind wanders from work, to sports, to I wonder how all these crickets got into this bar.  

Kissing on the first date, after a bad date, well there’s really no point in doing that, unless… Never mind.  

But what about that great first date? It’s winding down – you must make your move now or you risk ruining everything you’ve just accomplished. She wants to be kissed, you’re one-hundred-percent sure of it. In fact, if you had a dollar for every time she’s made a point to squeeze your bicep on this date, you’d have earned a free round of drinks. She’s been flinging her hair, and licking her lips, and she even winked at you. Who winks? She winks. And winks are good. Winks are the eyes’ invitation to use those lips for something other than talking. Kissing. Just kiss her already. 

 Finally, you recognize your opening; that still moment when there’s nothing left to say or do but walk to your respective cars, or, put those lips to good use with a bold first-kiss. Decisions, decisions. 

Ask yourself this: if you make a move – attempt a kiss – what is the worst thing that can happen? 


But… she… the winking… Oh the embarrassment! You went for it; put yourself out there and she gave you cheek. You can’t make-out with a cheek, can you? Probably not, or at least I wouldn’t advise it.

So your kiss attempt failed, what next? 


You’ll get over it. A miss on a kiss is not the end of the world; just means she 1) isn’t into you, or 2) doesn’t feel comfortable kissing you, yet. People have rules. In fact,  women often admit to withholding first-date kisses from men they viewed as potential long-term partners. In other words, a failed kiss attempt on a first-date isn’t necessarily a bad thing. 


What’s the best thing that can happen if you try your luck at kissing on the first date? 

Oh, the possibilities are endless, my friends. kissing on the first date

You identify your opening and smoothly unite your lips with hers. You’re kissing now – she’s touching you. You’re touching her, too. Do it! Slide your hand down a bit, you’ve been kissing for five minutes! This is going well you think to yourself right before reminding yourself not to think; just kiss. 

I can get used to kissing these lips

“What’s that? Sure, I’d love to go back to your place for a ‘coffee’.” 

And then… SCORE! 

Or maybe not. But you’ll never know if you don’t go in for the kiss. 

Kissing on the first date is an interesting topic because there are two contrasting schools of thought concerning this contentious matter. Differing opinions can be summed up by the simple clashing of rules vs romance

Some people believe kissing is sacred and intimate – it should only be practiced with someone special, and how can you possibly know someone is special on the first date? Sounds logical. The people on this side of the fence won’t be kissing you on date number one, such behaviour is against their strict dating code. 

The alternative way of looking at first date kissing is: a kiss is only a kiss. Sure, it’s intimate, but this isn’t 1954; I’m perfectly fine with a lip-on-lip finale to a great evening. These people are kiss-o-maniacs, plain and simple. They’ll kiss the (expletive) out of you, and you’ll like it. When two kiss-o-maniacs have a great first date, make-out sessions ensue. Everybody wins. 

To each their own. Kissing on the first date is a matter of preference more than anything else. There is no right or wrong philosophy, so do what is best for you. 

Ladies, what’s your stance on first date kissing? 

Learn more about first date etiquette by grabbing a copy of my Dating & Relationship Advice Book “Single in the CIty”

By sitcadmin | July 18, 2018
Sign up for Single in the City's Matchmaking Club today and
get a ticket to an upcoming speed dating event for free (Limited time offer)
Need more info? Call us at 1-866-740-7482