Moving on from someone you dated is tough, needless to say; moving on from someone with who you didn’t get to that level, however, is a completely different beast to tackle. So, how do you move on from someone you never dated?
When a relationship ends, you know what went wrong. You understand the relationship, you gave it your best go and now it’s over. Closing the chapter on a relationship may be hard, but you know why it ended. There’s a sense of completion and closure. But trying to move on from someone you have a crush on or had an “almost-relationship” with is confusing. You lack that sense of completion – how can you process an ending that never had a true beginning?
I want you to know that if you find yourself in this situation, the struggle you feel is completely valid. It’s not foolish to feel disappointed, to feel led on. You don’t need to date someone to be hurt by their actions. After all, it’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy of what could be. It’s easy for your heart to become invested. Most of all, it’s tough to step away and gain closure from an almost-situation. So, how do you move on some someone you never dated? Here is my advice for those of you struggling to move on.
Tips for moving on from someone you never dated
- Try to understand why you’re so invested in this person – What do they fulfill for you? What about them do you find so great? If you find yourself preoccupied with strong, hard-to-quit feelings for this one person, it might be time to self-reflect. Why stay interested in someone who isn’t interested in you? Is it possible that you’re trying to protect yourself from experiencing something real? You have to ask yourself these tough questions.
- Focus on your reality, not what could be – being able to see the potential in a relationship is a strength, but make sure you’re grounded in truth. Pay attention to your reality and stop allowing your hope for what could be to cloud your judgment.
- Stop making excuses for them – maybe you keep telling yourself the timing isn’t right. Or that the person you like is just dealing with a lot right now. Here’s the thing; someone who wants to be with you will be with you. It’s as simple as that.
- Become intentional – one of the best ways to move on from someone is to realize what you truly want in a relationship. Sit down and think about what you want from a partner; the quality of effort, the level of investment, the willingness to make something work, the desire to be with you. These are the things you need to look at. Stop settling for people based on surface-level qualities and start looking at the virtues that truly matter in a partner.
- Start dating again! There are so many fish in the sea – missing out on one person is NOT the end and the more you date, the more you begin to see that for yourself. Try online dating, or better yet, sign up for one of my virtual speed dating events. You never know who you might meet.
If you’re struggling with this, I hope these tips can help you move on from someone you never dated. Remember, you deserve someone who wants to be with you!