I’ve recently been asked about what to do when the person you’re dating pulls away. It goes like this, right? You’ve been single for a long time, you meet this amazing person and you’re like WOW, this could be it! In the beginning, everything seems so magical -your chemistry is on par and you think they feel the same way. But then something changes and they start pulling back; you don’t know exactly what caused it but you want to figure it out. We’re stuck asking ourselves why this happened and why you can’t get this person to just open up. 

what to do when the person you're dating pulls away

There are many reasons why the person you’re dating pulls away; it could be they’re afraid of commitment, unsure of you, maybe you resemble someone from their past that they didn’t have a great relationship with. They could be dealing with their own problems and they’re not letting you in on what those issues are, or maybe they’re afraid of getting hurt.

If the person you’ve been dating just disappears or they’ve started hitting the breaks, I have some tips for you on how to handle these types of situations.

What to do when the person you’re dating pulls away

  1. Give them space! Don’t hound them or start demanding answers as to why they pulled away. Do not have that conversation right off the bat. Give it time! Let them miss you and deal with anything personal that might be going on. If they want to keep things going, they’ll open up when they’re ready.
  2. If you want to check in, it’s okay! Just make sure you keep the conversation fun and light. Don’t make it about what is going on with them and with your relationship. Let them know that you’re thinking about them – they’ll appreciate it.
  3. Create a safe space for them. People that are dealing with these types of issues usually have a hard time trusting someone new. If you create a safe space for them that’s free of judgment, they’ll slowly begin to trust you and eventually they may open up to you. You have to be strong enough yourself to be willing to wait it out!
  4. Give yourself a (realistic) timeline –  if nothing changes by the time you hit that point then you have a decision to make.

I hope this helps! 


Want more help with your dating life? Check out Single in the City’s Date Coaching packages!