It goes without saying that finances can have a huge impact on your romantic relationship; According to Finder research, over two thirds (68.5%) of Canadians say they would reconsider a relationship based on a person’s financial debt. With that being said, talking about finances and relationships with your significant other isn’t the most pleasant of conversations…I get it. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s necessary, which is why I brought Global Finance Expert Rubhina Ahmed Haq onto The Dating and Relationship show to give us some advice about debt, money talks and the red flags that signal it might be time to walk.
When it comes to relationships, it’s crucial to talk about your financial situation with your SO, whether you need to come clean about debt, or even just chat about your salary and how that plays into your lifestyle. “What are your financial values, what goals do you have? If you don’t match in the ways that you spend money, that’s a mismatch,” Rubhina said. This is so true – what if you’re super frugal and your significant other is the type to blow money when they feel like it? “It doesn’t mean that you can’t be together, it just means you should be aware of that before you go into the relationship because their spending habits might irk you down the road. It’s about understanding each other and knowing that we all have needs and wants.”
Of course, you wouldn’t start talking money with a guy you just starting seeing last month, but it’s definitely a crucial thing to discuss once things get serious, and you start merging your lives together. “When your money starts to impact the other person, you need to have the money talk,” Rubhina reasoned.
So how exactly do you bring it up finances and relationships?
Here are a few tips on how to approach and handle finances and relationships with your SO:
– If it’s your debt, it’s your responsibility to bring it up. Feel it out, and keep an eye for the natural time in your relationship when you feel safe to share.
– Take some time to sit down when you’re both in a good headspace, mentally and emotionally. Don’t drop a bombshell during a rough time, obviously.
– Use your intuition on whether the money talk is the right next step in your relationship
– Before you begin, be sure to tell them you love them (sneak it in there!), and simply want to chat about your personal money goals for your future.
– Be honest and upfront. If your money is going to start affecting the things you do as a couple ( i.e. vacations, moving in together), honesty is the best policy. We don’t want to blindside anyone.
– Be open, and hear them out before you judge or make assumptions. We all go through struggles in life, and it’s always best to look at the person they are today and whether they are being proactive about their money presently.
Money isn’t always easy to talk about, but it’s a necessary conversation if you plan to take the next step in your relationship. For more tips on how to handle money as a couple, create an action plan, and cut everyday spending, be sure to tune into Rubhina’s episode on the The Dating and Relationship Show.
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