You sent him a text 10 minutes ago, he still hasn’t responded, BUT, he has posted a pic on Instagram – why is he ignoring me?

 

You wonder. It could be a number of things, it could be nothing, but it’s going to drive you crazy.*Warning* that may be one of the reasons he’s ignoring you.

 

We women sometimes get caught up in speculation, particularly when we’re met with silence.  If your boyfriend hasn’t responded to your text, but you know he’s online, your imagination is going to run wild.  You will remember and dissect every conversation you’ve had over the past month, every text, every email.  You’re going to find ‘tones’ in texts or emails that you didn’t notice when you first read them. You’re going to read what you sent him and imagine that he took it the wrong way.  You’re going to try to figure out just what it was you said or did that turned him off. But first you’re going to text him one more time.

 

Do you text him too much? Does he feel smothered? As the clock ticks and he still hasn’t responded, you won’t be asking why is he ignoring me? you’re going to start preparing a defense for every scenario you can think of.

 

You decide to Google Why is he ignoring me? You get the following results:

 

  • You’re always around, he needs space
  • He’s stressed out at work or home
  • He’s feeling pressured by you
  • You nag constantly
  • His feelings have changed
  • He’s cheating
  • It’s something you said
  • He’s avoiding an argument
  • He has an addiction
  • He’s just a jerk
  • He’s just busy
  • He’s about to break up with you

 

Now you don’t know whether to be offended or concerned and you won’t know until he finally responds to your text, so you feel both.  

 

Why is he ignoring me?!  You scream in your head. Common sense and past experience tells you this could go one of two ways: It could be nothing, he’s not ignoring you, he’s just busy with things that have nothing to do with you, if you accuse him of anything else…you could set the break-up wheels in motion.

 

Or, he could be preparing to break up with you and is trying to figure out a way to do it. What is your gut telling you?  Not your brain, your gut. It’s hard to be objective when emotions are involved, your brain cannot be trusted to provide the right information, but the question why is he ignoring me does speak volumes, it basically says this Is all about you, and that might be the problem, if there is one.

 

If your text wasn’t urgent and if it was anyone else, how much would it bother you? Have you ever received a text from a friend and not responded immediately? Maybe you were driving, or with a bunch of people and decided you’d answer later when you could respond more thoughtfully?

 

There are many possible reasons why he didn’t respond to your text immediately, a lot of those reasons have nothing to do with you. Unless your gut is telling you otherwise, the question why is he ignoring me? is coming from a place of insecurity, nobody can make you feel insecure.  You are the only one with the power to do that, you are also the only one with the power not to do that!
Don’t feed it your insecurity.  The more you feed it, the bigger it gets, and the more you depend on other people to validate you, the less control you have over your own life.

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