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Ready to Mingle? Tips for How to Approach Singles + Be More Approachable

by | Jul 13, 2021 | Advice for men, Dating Advice, Dating tips, Flirting, Speed Dating

Nowadays, if you are single, you cannot just rely on online dating, your phone & social media to help you meet your significant other.ย  If you are serious about the dating process, you need to get out there and meet people the old fashion way! Face-to-face is instant and the only real way to know if you have chemistry with someone. As we slowly start to shift back to some sort of โ€œnormalโ€ and have social interaction with strangers again itโ€™s important to make sure you are approachable if you want to meet someone new!

If you are single and ready to meet someone, you should approach a lot and be approachable when you go out.ย  As a dating coach and matchmaker of 20+ years, the advice I give to my clients is to get out there as much as possible, try new things, check out new places, join new groups, go speed dating and begin having conversations with people everywhere you go. Converse with the person standing next to you in line at the coffee shop, talk to the wait staff when you go out for dinner or talk to people at the gym! The more you practice, the easier it will be and the less nervous you will become at approaching the opposite sex.

Tips for how to approach singles for men

GUYS,ย the one constant complaint I hear from women is that men donโ€™t approach enough. Not to say that a woman should never approach you but you should really take the reigns and be the one approaching a majority of the time.ย  Guys are good at coming up with excuses not to approach like โ€œshe wonโ€™t like a guy like me,โ€ โ€œshe probably has a boyfriend,โ€ or โ€œsheโ€™s probably sick of guys hitting on her.โ€ ย ย โ€”ย Stop making excuses and start approaching!

When you practice approaching women, you will increase your level of confidence and the possibility of meeting that someone you completely โ€œclickโ€ with. Itโ€™s a numbers game and you wonโ€™t get dates just thinking about getting them.

GUYS, KEEP THESE TIPS IN MIND NEXT TIME YOUโ€™RE THINKING OF APPROACHING A WOMAN

 

Approaching women feels awesome and helps build your confidence.
Women are attracted to confident men! Try not to appear too nervous as women can pick up on this behaviour.

Donโ€™t invade her personal space by getting to close to her
This is an instant turnoff for women. Stay back at least two feet.

Approach in a casual and relaxed manner
Make an observation about something going on around you. Perhaps she is reading the same book as you or she has the latest smart phone and you want to ask about its performance. Watch her body languageย โ€”ย areย her arms crossed? Is she ignoring you and continuing to read her book? Is she frowning? Is she looking away and avoiding eye contact at all costs? These may not be perfect signals, but I would suggest leaving her alone.ย If she is interested, she will make eye contact, smile and sometimes lean in closer.

Make her laugh
Another great way to get a womanโ€™s attention and make her smile is by using fun, playful small talk.ย ย Quickly establish yourself as a flirt. Tease her by saying something like โ€œHey there, I saw you staring at me.ย  I know you want to take me home with you but sorry Iโ€™m not that kind of guy, Iโ€™d rather get to know you first.โ€ (keep a smile on your face so she knows you are joking). This can be a fun way to start a conversation with her.

Avoid complimenting her too much or at all

Pretty girls hear it all the time how beautiful they are so reminding them wonโ€™t make you stand out. If you feel the need to flatter her, try complimenting her shoes or sense of style and avoid complimenting her looks.

Ask her for her email instead of phone number
Some women feel more comfortable giving out an email as its less forward and low-risk.

Approach her with strength and confidence
Be the man, lead the conversation,ย but donโ€™t be too aggressive and donโ€™t use cheesy pick-up lines.

 

Tips for how to approach singles for women

LADIES, I often hear men tell me how unapproachable and difficult it is to meet women in the Toronto area compared to women in other countries and areas of Canada.ย  Most of you will wait for a man to approach you, but donโ€™t always wait. Sometimes when you want something, you just have to go out and get it! You can approach a man, but I donโ€™t advise that you chase him. Let him come to you.

 

LADIES, FOLLOW THESE TIPS TO INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF INTERACTING WITH MEN

Be friendlier in general
Use your natural, bubbly personality to interact with others, spark conversations and meet new people. The more people you meet, the greater your chances of meeting the one.
Smile and make eye contact
These are two actions that make it easier for a man to approach you and a smile makes you instantly more attractive.
Look good when you go out
It may seem shallow, but people who put an effort into their appearance usually look more inviting.
Use approachable body language
Avoid slouching, keep your head high and your shoulders square. Keep your arms in a welcoming position and avoid threatening positions, such as crossed arms or hands raised in front of your chest.
Be more aware of your environment

Look up from what you are doing and take some time to connect with people. Enjoy that next shopping trip and try not to rush around all the time.
Lay the first stone
There is no rule stating that you cannot approach a man. Actually, most men feel flattered when a woman approaches them first.ย ย Go for what you want or someone else will. Try putting your number and name on a piece of paper, hand it to him and ask him to call you if heโ€™s single and interested in meeting. You may be surprised at who calls you.


Need a little more help with meeting new singles? Give ourย matchmaking packagesย a try and get ready to meet someone special!

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About me

Laura Bilotta
Laura Bilotta is an author, dating coach, matchmaker, and founder of SingleintheCity.ca, one of the GTAโ€™s largest event-based dating companies since 2002. With expert knowledge in dating etiquette, relationships, and human behavior, she has faciliated thousands of speed dating events, coached hundreds of singles, and successfully matched countless couples. Laura was the host of the Dating and Relationship Show on AM640, now available on Apple Podcasts, and also hosted the TV talk show Single in the City on Rogers Network. Her book, โ€œSingle in the City: From Hookups & Heartbreaks to Love & Lifematesโ€, is available now.

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Visit our Dating & Relationship Advice and Tips Blog Led by 22-year Dating Coach Veteran Laura Bilotta, along with guest dating and relationship experts, weโ€™re dedicated to helping you succeed in your quest for love. Whether youโ€™re going through heartbreak, need first date tips, or seeking advice on navigating tricky relationship situations, weโ€™ve got you covered.

Laura Bilotta

Laura Bilotta is an author, dating coach, matchmaker, and founder of SingleintheCity.ca, one of the GTAโ€™s largest event-based dating companies since 2002. With expert knowledge in dating etiquette, relationships, and human behavior, she has faciliated thousands of speed dating events, coached hundreds of singles, and successfully matched countless couples. Laura was the host of the Dating and Relationship Show on AM640, now available on Apple Podcasts, and also hosted the TV talk show Single in the City on Rogers Network. Her book, โ€œSingle in the City: From Hookups & Heartbreaks to Love & Lifematesโ€, is available now.