Do you question why you’re still single some days? Have you ever asked yourself; am I emotionally unavailable? What does being emotionally unavailable mean to you?
Sometimes we may not even realize we’re emotionally unavailable, meanwhile our dating relationships are crumbling around us with little room for intimacy or relationship development. If you’re asking yourself; am I emotionally unavailable? you’re one step closer to the self-awareness needed to make big interpersonal relationship changes in your life. If you truly strive to have a relationship, it’s critical to explore and attend to your inner emotions first and foremost before pursuing a new relationship. In order to have a healthy, long lasting relationship, sometimes we must face the darkness, disappointment and the hurt of past relationships in order to truly move forward and be available for the next relationship.
Wondering; am I emotionally unavailable? Ask yourself these 20 questions to determine your emotional availability:
- Do you still have your ex’s things at your place? Are neither of you taking initiative to separate your things and some time has passed now since the breakup?
- Do you still hold on to hope that you and your ex will get back together?
- Do you consistently cyber stalk your ex on social media to see what they’re up to?
- Do you prefer to hang out with your friends on the weekend and put your dates second?
- Do you still cry over your ex sometimes?
- Do you have trust issues?
- Are you angry at the opposite sex? Do you still hold a lot of resentment and hate towards your ex?
- Do you run away from relationships as soon as they get serious?
- At the end of the day, are you only really interested in sex and a hangout once in a while?
- Do you have a fear of getting hurt?
- Do you sabotage seemingly good, healthy relationships?
- Do you have trouble opening up about your feelings? Do you have trouble when other people open up to you about their feelings?
- Do you feel a need to keep your options open when it comes to settling down?
- Are you stuck in a fantasy and no one you meet lives up to your expectations of a partner?
- Do you have the mentality that you don’t need anyone?
- Do you feel as if you don’t care at all sometimes? Are you late or cancel dates with no notice and no remorse?
- Do you feel pressure to settle down but you’re not sure if you’re ready?
- Do you generally have a pessimistic attitude when it comes to relationships?
- Do you know what you want out of a relationship or if you really want one at all?
- Am I emotionally unavailable?
Emotional availability is a critical component in fostering a successful relationship. The best thing you can do if you’re struggling with your own emotional availability is to take the time to yourself to work through any emotional barriers that could be impacting your interpersonal relationships. In times like these, reach out to friends, family, or even try speaking to an objective party like a date coach or counsellor. Sometimes objective parties can shed light on areas of potential growth we have overlooked ourselves.