Finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with can be daunting. Sometimes you can be in love, but you don’t work well together as a partnership. How do you figure out what you need when choosing a life partner?
This isn’t a question with a simple answer. It’s different for everyone, and love can make it harder to make logical decisions about your future.
Here are six things to keep in mind when you’re choosing a life partner.
There’s a big difference between being attracted to someone and being compatible with them. A good relationship is more than just animal magnetism. How do they treat you? How do they make you feel? Sometimes this attraction is so intense, it can deceive you into thinking you’re in love. Look for someone who connects with you on levels other than physical.
In a relationship, it’s important that you’re two unique people who have your own interests and opinions. However, it’s vital that you share similar values. Do you both want children? Where do you see yourself living in 5 years? These are the types of things that you can’t always compromise on, so it’s necessary to figure them out before it’s too late.
If someone outright tells you that they’re selfish or don’t know how to be monogamous, listen to them and believe them. The longer you stay in a relationship that you know won’t work or doesn’t align with your plans for the future, the more time you spend missing your chance with the right person. Don’t assume that you’ll be the one person that can make them change. More often than not, it won’t happen, and it’s not up to you to fix them.
And we don’t mean in a financial sense. Is your potential partner willing to go the extra mile to be a part of your life? Do they make an effort with your family or go out of their way to make your day a little easier? You’ll hopefully be spending your futures together, so find someone who wants to support you and make your days better. Think about how much you would do for them, and consider if they would do the same for you.
If things work out, you’ll be spending your entire futures together — good times and bad. Will they be there for you when things get tough, or will you be left to deal with things on your own? How do they handle stress and unplanned situations? Make sure your partner is resilient and knows the importance of consistently working at your relationship each & every day.
Don’t panic because your life plan involved you being married by now and settle for someone who you won’t work with long term. Everyone’s lives move at different rates and there’s no one proper way to do things. Let things happen as they happen. However, it won’t work to hold people to an impossible standard either. If you love everything about your partner except the fact that he eats all his meals with a spoon — regardless of what food it is — you may be asking for a bit too much. As much as you deserve the best, remember that everyone is human.
For more advice on this topic and other dating & relationship tips, sign up for date coaching.
Ciao for now,
Laura
