Conditions, conditions, conditions. When the ego takes over in a relationship, everything turns into some sort of condition, whether we want to admit it or not.
“If he really loved me he would do this (insert blank).”
“If she doesn’t call me back within 5 hours, she’s cut.”
“If he doesn’t propose to me after 2 years, I’m breaking up with him.”
I hate to break it to you, but not everything is on your schedule and we’re all unique individuals who approach love in many different ways. It can be so easy to judge someone based on the way you choose to express love.
“Well I would have approached the situation this way, since he didn’t, he must not love me.”
It just doesn’t work that way. Just because someone does not express love the same way you do, does not mean they don’t love you.
Unconditional love means…
Accepting the person for who they are, all the good and the “bad.”
You allow the person to be who they are.
You stick by them, even when times get tough.
You demonstrate empathy and although you may not always agree, you try and see the situation from their point of view.
You listen, even when you want to be right.
You do not restrict your partnership to meaningless timelines. You trust in the relationship and where it is going.
You show up for the person.
You don’t play games.
You allow that person to have time and space if they need it and do not make it about you.
You give without the expectation of receiving anything back.
You love the person, whether you can be in a relationship with them or not at this time.
You do not put stipulation’s or bias on how the person should look or act.
You just simply love them, love them from afar and love them when they are close.
Unconditional love is patient.
Unconditional love doesn’t mean we put up with abuse, bullshit or mistreatment by a partner. Unconditional love doesn’t mean we lower our standards. If you’re not compatible with someone and the way they approach love does not fit in with you’re expectations for love, that may be a signal you’re with the wrong person for you.
Sometimes we have a tendency to make a partnership all about us, the way we would do things, the way we would say things. When we place judgement on our partner, we stifle our ability to truly love someone for who they really are. We strangle the relationship and strip it of its fun, organic loving nature.
What does unconditional love mean to you?