After the first date, are you already planning your wedding with him?
Do you have a vision of what you want her to be like and you’re constantly disappointed?
It’s extremely important to know what type of relationship you’re looking for and the characteristics in a partner that you value most. I’m not recommending that you settle. However, it is when we create fantasies in our head of the way things “should be” or the way our dates should “act and look like,” that we will always be disappointed.
I hate to break it to you but your dates are not a fantasy king or queen, where perfection is absolute. You’re dating a human, imperfections and all.
Creating fantasies in your head often lead’s to a lot of expectation without communication, resulting in disappointment.
Although the guy you just met could be THE guy, you don’t have enough information to know for sure yet. Creating a fantasy in your head where your wedding and timeline is already laid out, put’s a lot of pressure on the situation. Although you may not know it, you could be projecting energy onto this guy that is overwhelming and conditional.
The goal should not be to get the marriage; it should be to find the right partner for you!
Finding the right partner takes time. Take the time to get to know your date. As much as you can, go with the flow and allow true timing to take over. When you allow your self to let go of the fantasies in your head, life begins to unfold magically, likely better than any fantasy you could have ever imagined.
When you place your relationships in a proverbial, constricted box, it discounts all the other great way’s things could unfold for you.
Creating fantasies in your head about the new date that you have decided you’re going to marry, could be so far off what you actually want when you get to know them!
Do you also notice that you’re ten times more disappointed and upset when you’re creating fantasies in your head based on the way you THINK things should play out?
Stay as best you can in the moment. Enjoy these moments of getting to know your date for who they are. Know what you want and what you’re looking for in a partner and leave the rest up to the evolution of the relationship.
Pick relationships not based on a fantasy in your head but based on the reality of who they are, how you feel about them and how they make you feel about yourself.
