When we meet someone that we really like, we’re on our best behaviour. It’s natural to want to show someone your best self. But sometimes we allow our insecurities to get the best of us. God forbid we let down our guard, show a little vulnerability, or show up as less than perfect – we worry that the person we’re dating might change their mind about us. That maybe we won’t measure up to the person they want or expect us to be. You might think to yourself “what if they see who I really am, and decide that I’m not worthy?” We are consumed with the fear of not being enough.
So we default to cheap tactics. Maybe we play games. You know what I’m talking about – have you ever waited a specific length of time to text someone back, just so that you don’t seem too eager? Or maybe you use social media as a way to manipulate someone’s perception of you.
Maybe you laugh at jokes you don’t find funny. Maybe you bend your boundaries and tell yourself, it’s ok, it’s not a big deal so long as he or she likes me. Here’s the thing guys – it IS a big deal. Because you’re not being authentic to who you are.
Why it’s important to be real in relationships
You are showing this person a false reality. And when you fail to show up as your true self, you’re killing your chance to develop a meaningful connection with someone.
If you want to find the person for you, you can’t compromise who you are. Yes, you should absolutely give a new relationship space to grow, which means that you also need to let go of your need for control. Bottom line – who you are is enough. If someone likes you, they’re going to call. They’re going to want to spend time with you. They’re going to make an effort for you. And if they don’t, it’s their loss. They’re not the one for you. Less time wasted as far as I’m concerned.
Who you are is enough
Give someone a chance to get to know the real you. With all your likes and dislikes, and vulnerabilities, and opinions. Stop fearing imperfection. Be real, and focus on them. When you’re in a new relationship, your focus should be getting to know this person. Not controlling how you appear to them. Remember, you are choosing them as much as they are choosing you. Have confidence in what you bring to the table, and allow your relationships to flow organically. Having integrity with YOURSELF is how you will find what you are looking for.
Be you and the rest will follow. I hope this helped.
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