This Valentine’s Day I had the pleasure of hosting a mixer and relationship seminar for the students of Founder’s College at York University. We had a blast playing flirt bingo and discussing all of the issues that surround millennial dating and what they have to deal with when it comes to dating and relationships. I’ve included some of the tips we discussed so that everyone can be successful and safe in their dating endeavours.
Millennial Dating & Dating Apps
- If you’re looking for a relationship not a hookup than avoid shirtless pictures
- Make sure they have more than one picture of themselves
- If you like them don’t be afraid to send the first message
- It’s ok to give compliments on their physical appearance but make sure they aren’t super sexual or weirdly specific
- There’s a fine line between funny and cheesy lines
- Don’t send unsolicited naked pictures
- Don’t ask for naked pictures from people you haven’t met yet
- Don’t feel pressured to send naked pictures if someone asks for them
Millennial Dating & Safety
- When meeting someone new always have your date in a public place
- Let someone know where you are and when they should expect you back
- Take you own transportation
- Don’t go home with a stranger
- If you meet someone on tinder or online make sure they’re on social media
- Look out for inconsistences in their profile and messages
- Avoid people who don’t want to Snapchat, Facetime or meet up in person
- Avoid people who live far away, “90 Day Fiancé” never turns out well
- If you’re interested in someone you should approach them, regardless of gender everyone should take love into their own hands, waiting for someone to approach you means that you could miss out on lots of opportunities
- When approaching someone the most important thing to remember is to smile, people are seen as more attractive when they smile and smiling can make the person they’re approaching feel at ease.
- Be confident, if you go into the situation thinking you’re going to bomb than you probably will, a positive attitude is key.
- Practice making conversation with strangers at the store, in elevators, wherever. It will improve your conversation skills and make you less nervous
Being respectful when saying no
- There will be times where you get complimented or asked out and you’ll have to decline the advance, whether your in a relationship or not into the person the reason doesn’t mater, what does mater is what you say and how you turn them down.
- It takes a lot of courage to approach someone so if you aren’t into them make sure to be respectful when you decline the advance but still be direct
- This is of course when someone approaches you respectfully, if someone is aggressive or crass the most important thing is to be assertive and remove yourself from the situation if you feel unsafe.
Millennial Dating: Date Night 101
- If you are the asker than actually plan the date, it doesn’t have to be fancy or elaborate, it really is the thought that counts. The worst thing you can do is show up to your date then say “Where do you want to go?” it makes it seem like you aren’t taking the date seriously
- Don’t creep their social media before your date. You can take a quick peek to ensure they are who they say they are but don’t look further than a year. You want your impression of them to be made on the date, not their awkward middle school pictures
- Don’t get drunk at dinner, it’s not classy and can lead to unsafe situations, especially if it’s a first date.
- Don’t sleep together on the first date, it’s an old school rule but if you’re hoping to have a relationship with this person than it’s best to avoid sleeping with them on the first date
- Put your phone away for the whole date, you’re on a date to get to know the person, looking at your phone gets in the way of that.
- Be yourself! Whether you were the asker or the askee the two of you are there because there was something you liked about each other, so don’t worry about putting on an act.
- Use your manners, not only when speaking to your date but also the server, barista, Uber driver ext. Being gracious never goes out of style.
Millennial Dating & Early Relationships
- Don’t be clingy/needy, there’s nothing worse that opening your texts after class and finding 8 messages in a row freaking about where you are
- Still enjoy your own hobbies and activities, the healthiest relationships are ones where you each have your own interests
- If you are going to be away from your phone for a long time then let them know, you don’t want them worrying that you got abducted
- Actually leave the house. I know it’s easy to fall into the routine of studying together and ‘Netflix and chill’ all the time but it’s best for everyone if you actually get out and do things together as well. Even if money is tight you can walk in the park, go to events on campus together, just switch up the routine
When it comes to Millennial Dating and relationships the rules are constantly fluctuating and evolving but as long as you go in with a positive attitude and remember to stay safe you’re sure to have a good time. Looking for a way to meet people other than Tinder? Come out to a Single in the City Event!