Those of you who know me, know I am completely devoted to my 11-year old Miniature Doberman Pinscher, Max. Max has survived many relationships, he was there first, throughout and after. Max will ALWAYS be with me; boyfriends..? So, if someone were to ask me if my pet has ruined any of my relationships, I’d have to say, ‘No, on the contrary, he saved me from some!’
But now I’m going to take off my Mommy hat and speak from my experience as a Matchmaker, where the issue of pets ruining relationships has come up more than once.
Shocking as it is, not everybody loves animals; some are allergic, some have had a bad childhood experience, some are just unfamiliar and therefore uncomfortable with them, whatever the reason, their minds are generally made up and your precious pet is NOT going to change it.
So, before you let yourself fall for anyone, pay close attention, this is very important and cannot be filed under ‘we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.’ I realize nobody wants to even think about pets ruining their relationships, but wouldn’t you rather be prepared?
Right from the start, make it abundantly clear to any date or potential date, that you are a proud and devoted pet parent. If you are availing yourself of a Matchmaker or Date Coach, make sure they know this too!
I know the significance of this from experience; I was matching a client and found someone who was perfect on paper, but didn’t like animals; pets were a deal-breaker, absolutely NON- Negotiable, so I kept looking. By some weird twist of fate these two met at a function and really hit it off, so much so they actually left together. The next day I called my client and told her the gentleman did not like animals at all – she said she had taken my advice and told him up front that she was a devoted dog-ma. It seems he forgot he didn’t like animals, on the contrary, he just loved them!
If the chemistry is undeniable there’s a chance your date will profess his/her undying love for the whole animal kingdom. They might be able to keep up the charade for a little while, but as you ease into a relationship and are not feeling the need to be on your best behaviour 24/7, true feelings emerge. By then you’re in deep. This man exposed himself to be a liar and someone who will say whatever he thinks someone else wants to hear to get what he wants, so it was easy to stop this before it became serious. My client is very happy to declare ‘her pet ruined this relationship!’
If your perceptive pet doesn’t like your date, pay very close attention. Animals are excellent judges of character, they don’t understand words, so they don’t fall for them, they go by vibes and instincts. If an animal doesn’t like someone, there’s probably a good reason. Of course if your date has a pet of his/her own, yours might take issue with smelling the competition. If that’s the case, it’s nothing time and copious amounts of treats can’t fix. I don’t think your pets could ruin your relationship, there just may be need for compromises.
Yes, you’ve gotten used to snuggling with your pet, maybe even sleeping with him/her. This can be too much for some people and, I get it. I recommend getting a comfy pet bed and putting it on the floor or a raised ottoman so they’re still near you, but not in your bed. I’ve had to do this and I must admit, I do get a better night’s sleep and Max is perfectly fine with it.
You can learn a lot about a person by how he/she treats animals. That’s why I am often perplexed when someone asks if their pet is ruining their relationship. That’s a lot of responsibility to put on your furry friend. Instead, take advantage of the valuable insight gained by witnessing their interaction with the people in your life, but remember – he/she is exposing you too! Pets and Relationships can be a beautiful thing, it’s dealing with your pet situation in a mature and compromising matter that will make it all work!
