Healing After A Breakup

Post breakup, there can be a lot of emotional turmoil to endure including, frustration, anger and sadness.Part of healing after a breakup is allowing yourself to feel how you feel in that moment. If that means you need to cry, you cry.

It is so important in this time of healing to remember to love and have compassion for yourself. Breakups are extremely hard and you’re not expected to be just “over it” over night. Sometimes the easiest route is blaming ourselves after a breakup because that is the only control we have left. Picking apart everything you could have done differently is not going to mend this relationship. No one is perfect, not even you. No matter what happens in a relationship, relationships are a two way street and this relationship did not work out for a reason, trust that.

With that being said, when you are healing after a breakup it is healthy to be reflective and understand what you have learned. What did you learn about yourself and the type of partner you are from this breakup? Is there anything you would change? Has the type of person you want to be with changed? Every relationship comes into our lives for a reason, what do you think this relationship served to teach you? Your learning’s from this previous relationship will help foster a healthy relationship and a stronger partner in you for the future.

Now is a great time to focus back on yourself and what you love. What is it in this moment that would make you feel good? Whether that be calling up a friend or trying a new hobby. At times, we can loose ourselves in the throws of a relationship, now is the time to remind yourself of who you truly are.

Surround yourself with people who do love you and remember you’re not alone.

The only real thing you need to focus on today is getting through today.

So ask yourself what would make your day today and do that! Maybe you would like to take yourself to a spa? Get a mani/pedi? I wouldn’t make any huge hair transformations just yet, I would resist the urge to cut it all off. Although liberating, it’s drastic – get a trim, colour or just a blow-out, but don’t cut it all off until you’re feeling better, the growing out period could feel like forever.

Here are some affirmations for healing after a breakup:

• You are loved and you are loveable;
• Everything is never all your fault;
• Trust your life, this breakup happened for a reason, there is a lesson
• You WILL be happy again;
• You WILL meet someone.

Here are some other ideas:

• Listen to music; music is extremely healing.  
• Dance if you feel the urge; this raises your energetic vibrational frequency.  
• Journal; sometimes spilling your thoughts out on paper helps get them out of your system.
• Enjoy a girl’s night out: no boys allowed!
• Art Therapy; get pencil crayons and an adult colouring book; colour a mandala. It’s great therapy and you end up with a work of art.

WATCH the 5 minute video clip from the Single in the City Talk Show where I discuss healing after a breakup tips with host Laura Bilotta: