You’ve met someone new and you see so much potential for the future; this might really go somewhere! If you think things are starting to get serious and you want to pursue a relationship with someone, it’s always important to set boundaries early on and to lay the framework for how you want things to proceed.

couple with arms around each other looking out over lake landscape - important to set boundaries early on in new relationships

Photo by Andre Furtado from Pexels

Why should you set boundaries early on in a relationship?

  • Setting boundaries during the early stages puts down the basic guidelines for how you want to be treated – it can be difficult to set these later once certain habits have been established in a relationship.
  • These boundaries can help you maintain your own sense of self; if someone oversteps them, you’ll have emotional triggers that come up.
  • If you’re struggling with issues from past relationships, setting boundaries can be an excellent way to prevent these mistakes from happening again.
  • Don’t wait until a line has been crossed to set boundaries – set these early to avoid certain issues and friction down the road.
  • Sometimes, you have to teach people how you want to be treated so that you can get as much satisfaction and happiness as possible out of a relationship.

What are some good boundaries to set?

Of course, there is no set of boundaries that will apply to every relationship; those involved will have different needs and triggers and no one size fits all approach will work for everyone. Think about the following boundaries and how important they are to you:

  • Emotional boundaries: Get in touch with your feelings and pay attention to how your partner’s emotions affect your own.
  • Physical boundaries: Are you okay with public displays of affection? What does personal space look like to you?
  • Sexual boundaries: What are you okay with sexually? How often do you want to get intimate? What is off-limits?
  • Financial boundaries: spending, joint accounts, and budgets – the money talk is an important one and setting guidelines for how you approach this moving forward will help to remove certain financial stress.
  • Intellectual boundaries: Be aware of how you and your partner listen to and respect each other’s beliefs. Think about how you talk to them and how you want them to treat you when it comes to opposing viewpoints.

No matter how in-depth they are, it’s important to set boundaries early on to set the tone of the relationship and how things will be moving forward. Make sure that you listen to and respect your partner’s boundaries as well; this is a two-way street!


Want to learn more about setting boundaries and navigating healthy relationships? Try date coaching today!