Gone are the days when having sex early in a relationship was considered taboo. I guess you could say society has become a lot more open about sexual customs and sexuality in general over the years. It’s wonderful that we, as women, no longer need to cover our ankles and wear chapeaus to church every Sunday. However, just because our section of the world – here in North America – is more willing to accept that women enjoy sex, too! It doesn’t mean that we should toss sex around like a bottle of wine on ladies’ night.
I’ve been a dating coach and matchmaker for more than a decade – here’s my perspective on sex and relationships in the early in the stages of dating. Ladies, make him wait. One thing I’ve learned through my own personal experiences and my career as a matchmaker is that men willwait for sex, if you impose a no-sex right away policy.
Ladies, I’m not saying make him wait for ten months, but holy, six to eight dates with no sex to start a relationship never hurt anyone. And if you do go on a date with a guy who loses interest in you because you won’t have sex right off the hop, he clearly isn’t that serious about being in a relationship with you. If a guy can’t respect your wishes from the beginning, he’ll never respect you.
Conversely, to say a guy won’t respect you if you have sex with him on the first date, well, I don’t necessarily think that is true. Some men aren’t as old-fashion as others. That being said, I think he’ll respect you more if you don’t have sex early in the relationship, and here is why:
Men want to work for it – they are considered hunters. Guys love the chase – they want to feel like they earned it. And some men are turned off by a woman who has sex right away – they wonder to themselves: if she’s giving it to me this quickly, she must get around.
As much as we ladies have become empowered and liberated and done so much to dispel silly stereotypes like “she’s easy if she has sex on the first date”, the point is, it’s not about whether he thinks you’re a easy or not. Make him wait for sex because your body is a temple – create allure and be flirtatious, but don’t be overly seductive or you’ll be sending him the wrong signals.
And one last thing: If you’re using online dating to get laid, all the power to you, your body is your own and you should do what you want with it. But, if you’re using online dating to find the love of your life then don’t give it up too fast. Don’t fall into that trap.
Sex and Relationships can be confusing as every person and situation is different but 9 out of 10 times, go with your gut!
Join the Single in the City Facebook Fan Page for special event offers, interesting dating info, dating tips and a whole lot of chucks and giggles!