Meeting new people, dating and intimacy have never been stranger than in 2020. So, how have things changed?
Will sex with masks work?
In my observations, I don’t feel that wearing a mask during sex is very realistic and likely not as satisfying as sex without a mask. Kissing is all part of the fun, the foreplay. Think about how hard it will be trying to convince people to wear a mask during an intimate activity such as sex when a lot of people still don’t want to wear them in public. I don’t feel that most people will oblige. I ran a poll on my Instagram (@officialLauraBilotta) and I asked the question “What are your thoughts on wearing a mask during sex with someone you recently met?” 70 people responded with a 77-23 split in favor of no way.
I think there is a divide. There are two ways that people are responding. Some people are being choosier with who they meet up with. What they’re doing is they’re qualifying them to make sure that they’re worth their while. They’ve hopped on the phone. Video chats have increased. They’re asking a lot of important questions. Essentially, what people are doing is they’re getting a sense of whether a connection is really worth leaving the house.
On the other hand, there are still people that are really not changing a thing. I mean, they just want to have sex. Their sexual desires are really overriding any concerns that they have about the pandemic. I think that most people are being careful, though.
Well, I think that when it comes to sex, COVID is forcing people to have conversations and explore different ways to share pleasure. For example, my friend owns an online sex toy shop and his business, since COVID, has boomed. People are starting to get really creative and realize that there is not just one way to have sex. More people are having phone sex, they’re using sex toys, they’re masturbating together on video chat and on the phone. But you’ve got to be careful about that, because there comes an extortion risk when it comes to internet photos and videos with strangers.
When it comes to dating, people are being more patient. I think they’re using this opportunity to really get to know somebody on a much deeper level, including phone calls and video chats, so by the time they meet up, it’s more meaningful. They’ve created this somewhat relationship with someone before even meeting them. It’s more meaningful because now they’ve taken the time to get to know them. And when they do meet up, they’re meeting up in, parking lots and parks, they’re going for walks. And now that we’re in stage three, people are hitting up patios, they’re going for coffees, they’re going for dinners. So people are starting to date again.
When when we look back on dating during COVID and how it affected sex and relationships, what do you think our observances will be?
I think that social distancing has definitely changed the way that we view sex while dating. In the past, it was easy to fall into the trap of looking at sex is as one dimensional. It’s physical, it’s in the moment. It’s acting on that all-important spark. But now that people have been forced to slow down to develop a mental and emotional connection before jumping into bed with one another, I think they’re beginning to realize that sexual attraction can be impacted by so much more than just physical chemistry.
Sexual connection is not just surface level. A deeper emotional connection will always add to sexual chemistry. And so will mental stimulation. Intelligence is sexy and someone caring about you is sexy. And now that sex is no longer really accessible like it once was, what it means is that we’re forced to get to know someone without the distraction of it and then allowing people to be a lot more careful about who they give their time to when they’re dating. Which I think is a great thing.
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