2020 is a weird time to be dating. We’re not just ”single” or “in a relationship;” we often have go-to hookup partners, maybe a friend with benefits, or most confusing of all, situationships.

Situationships are essentially the grey area between casual dating and being in a relationship. You’re regularly seeing someone, so they’re more than a casual encounter, but the connection is still undefined and uncommitted.

Uncertain as they may be, situationships are very common these days. And don’t get me wrong, situationships aren’t necessarily a “bad thing.” Removing the pressures that come with a committed relationship can be freeing for many individuals, especially those who may have recently experienced a breakup and aren’t looking for a new commitment quite yet. They’re also quite common among individuals who are focusing on other aspects of their life (like career advancement), but still want romance without having to invest.

For those who do not want a situationship and find you’ve unintentionally fallen into one, it can be very difficult to navigate. A situationship is ultimately an unstable relationship. If you’re looking for a long-term commitment, this type of relationship can be emotionally toxic, and cause more harm than good down the road.

So, here’s the million-dollar question: Is it possible to take a situationship and graduate it into a full-fledged, committed relationship? The answer? It depends. If you’re in a situationship and you’ve developed real feelings, here’s how you can shoot your shot:

Speak up.

it’s time to sit down, and have a grown-up chat about feelings. Yes, honest talks can be scary, especially when you’re baring your soul to another. But it’s absolutely necessary. State how you feel, and say what you want. Remember, it doesn’t have to be an argument and it doesn’t have to be an ultimatum. Just speak your truth and communicate your standards.

But remember to stick to these  standards – If you communicate you desire for a real relationship, and the person you’re seeing is refusing to give you definitive answers, it may be time to re-evaluate. If you know what you want, and this person isn’t willing to give you what you want, maybe THEY’RE no longer what you want. Put yourself first, and don’t settle for less than what you deserve. A situationship is like settling for the crumbs of a cake. Why settle for crumbs when you can find a whole cake elsewhere?

So if you do find yourself in a situation where you need to walk away, try not to take it too hard. If anything, it was a learning experience. You learned more about what you don’t want and more about what you do want. And that’s always a win in my books.

Check out our video on Youtube on Situationships and How to Get Out of Them