4 Things He Is Telling You When He Disappears

What To Do When He Disappears After Coming On Strong?

So, you’ve gone on a few dates with him, and now you can’t get enough. Even when you’re not together, he’s texting you constantly. You respond in kind because it feels consistent. He seems strong, present, and really into this. The chemistry is building, and everything seems mutually beneficial, until, one day…
He disappears.

A sudden silence is heart – bruising.

You sent a text, and what used to be a quick response from him is now met with an unexplained silence.
Maybe he’s been in a bad car accident and doesn’t have his phone?  You wonder if he could be really busy at work? Or, perhaps he has had a family emergency? But as the minutes turn into hours, and the hours into days, the reality begins to sink in. He’s gone silent, and the fun you had with him is replaced by a confused emptiness.

Some Hot and Cold Daters Want You to Ride an Emotional Rollercoaster

When a guy disappears after coming on strong, it can evoke a whirlwind of unpleasant emotions. The initial panic quickly segues into a frenzy of self doubt and you find yourself calling your girlfriends, dissecting every detail of the last time you saw him, looking for validation. You might replay conversations with him in your mind, and scrutinize previous texts, in a search for any clues which could explain his sudden disappearance. You could be thinking, “What did I do wrong? Has he met someone else?” But let me assure you, you did nothing wrong!

Understanding Why He Disappears

When a guy disappears, it’s his issue, not yours. It’s important to understand that his disappearance is more about him and his circumstances. Lots of guys have miss me? psycho behaviour. Men, like women, have their own insecurities, fears, and baggage which can impact how they interact with others and seriously affect their relationships. It’s perfectly okay to follow up with him once. A simple text: Hey. Haven’t heard from you in a while. Hope everything is okay. That’s enough. If he doesn’t respond, it’s time to let it go.

In a perfect world, he’d reach out and communicate what’s going on with him and explain his delay or reluctance to reply. He will do that when he’s ready and when the stakes have changed – meaning when certain expectations have subsided (yes, it could be he’s rebelling against the need to reply). Men sometimes require time and space to deal with their life and emotions. Contrary to popular belief however, most men are quite capable of communicating their feelings and sharing their thoughts and even the complex reasonings behind their actions. They can share and make the same aha-moment we all experience at the end of a good Harlequin Romance. They just don’t or won’t because they’re lazy or it hurts too much. If a week passes and you haven’t heard from him, that’s a big sign that you should just move on with your life.

What Does It Mean When He Disappears?

What is the hidden meaning which can and should be perceived when the guy you’re dating disappears? Instead of wasting lots of time calling about and trying to determine where he has gone, ask yourself why. When he disappears, he’s telling you he’s one or all of the following:

1. He’s Not Mature: A mature man knows how to handle his emotions and communicate effectively. If he disappears without a word, it’s a sign that he lacks the maturity required for a serious relationship.
2. He’s Not Ready for a Relationship: Sometimes, men think they’re ready for a relationship but realize they’re not once things start getting serious. Disappearing is an immature way of dealing with their fear of commitment.
3. He Doesn’t Know How to Communicate: Effective communication is important in any relationship. If he can’t communicate his feelings or reasons for needing space, it’s a sign that he doesn’t have the necessary communication skills.
4. He Doesn’t Care Enough About the Relationship: If he truly valued the relationship and you, he would make the effort to communicate, no matter how difficult it might be.

There is some consideration for the so-called “man cave” phenomenon, where men retreat to process their thoughts and emotions. However, if he’s not coming out of his man cave within a week, it’s time to start moving forward without him.

What It Doesn’t Mean When He Disappears

Let’s make some things perfectly clear; when he disappears on you, it doesn’t mean,

• • You’re not good enough
  • Some other girl is a better pick than you
  • You’re not loveable
  • There’s something wrong with you
  • You’re not pretty enough
  • You’re not smart enough
  • You are more than enough

When he disappears, it has nothing to do with you.  In fact you should thank him for disappearing at this early stage in your relationship. You have learned a lot about him; he has just shown you that he’s not the right guy for you, and that’s good information to get BEFORE you waste more time and invest more emotional energy into him. A man who truly values having a relationship with you will communicate his feelings at the first chance he gets, and not vanish without a trace.

Moving Forward with Bulletproof Mental Health

Now that you’ve come to terms with his disappearance, it’s time to focus on the experience and not simply quarantine the memories. Here are some steps to help you through this process:

1. Allow Yourself to Feel: It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, and confused. Allow yourself to experience these emotions without judgment. Suppressing your feelings will only prolong the healing process.
2. Talk to Your Friends: Your friends can provide a great support system. Talk to them about what happened, and let them offer you comfort and perspective. Just make sure to not dwell on the situation for too long.
3. Focus on Self-Care: Take this time to focus on yourself. Engage in activities that make you happy and relaxed. Whether it’s going for a run, indulging in a spa day, or diving into a good book, prioritize your well-being.
4. Reflect on the Relationship: Take some time to reflect on the relationship. What did you like about him? What didn’t you like? What have you learned from this experience? This reflection can help you understand what you want and need in a future partner.
5. Set Boundaries: Moving forward, set clear boundaries for yourself. Decide what behaviors you will and won’t tolerate in future relationships. This will help you avoid similar situations in the future.
6. Stay Open to New Possibilities: Just because this relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean you won’t find the right person. Stay open to new possibilities and trust that the right person is out there for you.

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship.

It’s important to find a partner who values and practices open communication. When both partners are able to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns honestly, it fosters trust and understanding. Guys disappears without explanation is a red flag which indicates a lack of sensitivity and or communication skills. You deserve someone who’s willing to be open with you, even when things get tough.

How to Deal with Ghosting

Ghosting has become an unfortunate trend in modern dating. The term ghosting is applied when someone you’ve been seeing suddenly cuts off all communication without any explanation. It’s hurtful and confusing, but it says more about the ghoster than it does about you.

If you’ve been ghosted, remind yourself that it’s not your fault. The person who ghosted you lacks the maturity and communication skills needed for a healthy relationship. Use this experience to strengthen your resolve and clarify your expectations for future partners.

Realize and Embrace Your Full Worth

One of the most important things to remember when a guy disappears is that it’s not a reflection of your worth. You are valuable, lovable, and deserving of a partner who appreciates and respects you.

Embrace your worth and,

1. Practice Self-Love: Engage in activities that boost your self-esteem and make you feel good about yourself. Practice positive self-talk and remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments.
2. Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Spend time with friends and family who uplift and encourage you. Their love and support can reinforce your sense of worth.
3. Set High Standards: Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Set high standards for your relationships and don’t compromise on your values and needs.
4. Continuing to Grow: Use this experience as an opportunity for personal growth. Learn more about yourself, your desires, and your boundaries. This self-awareness will serve you well in future relationships.

Look Ahead
While it’s natural to feel disheartened when a guy disappears after coming on strong, it’s important to keep a positive outlook. Every relationship experience, good or bad, teaches us valuable lessons about ourselves and what we want in a partner. The right person will communicate with you, respect you, and value the relationship. They won’t disappear when things get tough. Trust that the right person is out there and that you are deserving of a loving, committed relationship.

Seek Support
If you’re looking for more personalized guidance, consider signing up for a date coaching session. A professional dating coach can help you understand why your guy ghosted and provide you with strategies to navigate the dating world with confidence.

In conclusion, when a guy disappears after coming on strong, please realize it’s his issue, not yours. Use this experience to learn, grow, and reaffirm your worth. The right person is out there, and they’ll appreciate your complexities and communicate their feelings more maturely. Remember, you are strong, valuable, and deserving of a relationship that honors you. Keep your head up, stay positive, and continue moving forward. The best is yet to come
—