One of the most common questions I get asked by women in the Relationships world in approaching men is, “Should I approach the guy I like, or wait for him to come to me?”
I laugh every time I hear that. Like, EVERY TIME. To me, if there is something or someone I like, I want to be responsible in creating it. If I waited for someone else to read my mind, I’d be waiting forever. And so will you…
Yet herein lies the problem.
When approaching men, understand that they are inherently HORRIFIC mind readers. They’re simply not built that way, and yet most women expect men to be wired the same way that women are. That’s simply not the case. That’s why subtle hints don’t work with men. Or bold hints, or even OBVIOUS hints. Men respond much better to direct requests because they are raised as providers and protectors. They derive all their self-worth from providing, so ASK, and if he has it in him to give, or he has the ability, he will want to give it to you.
So back to why men don’t approach you.
The reason most men won’t approach a woman is almost the same reason women have difficulty in approaching men. It’s the typical fear of rejection feeling. So let me give it to you from a man’s perspective.
Men realize that attractive women get approached everyday, all day. Men simply don’t want to be the creepy guy that a woman is not interested in. (Because you pretty much know why we are approaching you.) Because most men aren’t able to pick up the signals that you may or may not be throwing out, they are really playing this game blindly. So whilst you may be thinking you are being overtly obvious that you are throwing out the vibe, he’s hearing crickets.
Men Don’t Get It (It’s not just a really cool book title of mine…) Shameless plug, I know… Back to you.
Make it easy on yourself. If you like a guy, go up to him and start with, “Hi.” More often than not, you will surprise the hell out of him! Then, if he is attracted to you, he will spend the following time trying to get to know you better. The key here is to look for the signs of interest or attraction and accepting it, NOT getting him to “like” you.
Very rarely do men get approached by women, so when it happens, it leaves a lasting impression. It demonstrates confidence, which is one of the sexiest traits in the laws of attraction. Most importantly, it will give you an immediate acid test to see how kind and open he is. If he receives you and listens to you, chances are, he’s a good guy. If he blows you off, or is unkind, believe that’s who he really is. Either way, you win. It takes you the one word, “Hi” to get valuable information which will save you more time and possible heartache in the future.
So rather than waiting for the guy to “get it”, be cause in the matter of getting what you want. Start approaching men on your own terms and create your own win-win situation.
Life is too short to live on other people’s terms…