Why Am I Still Single?

Why am I still single? I’m employed, friendly and I’ve turned a few heads in my time.

And yet, here I am, unable to find a romantic partner; a soulmate; a best friend.” – unknown single person.

In my experiences as a matchmaker and dating coach, I have encountered countless singles who can’t seem to figure out why they have so much trouble with relationships. And by “trouble with relationships” I mean: they never seem to meet the right person or get past the first date.

Fortunately, more often than not, most singles simply need to make minor adjustments to their approach — the way they carry themselves throughout the courting process. Once they adjust, finding someone and forming a meaningful relationship is a breeze.


Why am I still single you ask? Well it could be your behaviour on dates. Some singles have poor dating etiquette. They talk too much or they introduce awkward topics into conversation before they know the other person. Some things aren’t meant to be discussed during date one, two or three. For example, Health issues should be discussed once a relationship forms, allowing the other person to be more accepting once they start developing feelings for you.

Some singles drink too much on dates with people they’ve only just met. A couple alcoholic beverages is a quick way to loosen the tongue and say the wrong thing. And too much alcoholic intake can make some people ramble-on about nothing, which is unattractive.

And ladies, it’s great to have standards but try not to be extremely picky. How long is your list? Try having a list with ten things on it — and five of them should be negotiable. Don’t have a list down to your ankles — especially as you get older — because you’ll never find a guy who meets all your requirements.

Have 5 must-haves and 5 negotiables. Stay strict about the 5 must-haves. If you’re only attracted to men who are physically active, you don’t need to settle for a guy who won’t even get off the couch to go for a walk with you.

However, you may realize that even though you prefer a man with a full head of hair, maybe you can give-a-little and date a bald guy. Maybe hair isn’t as important as you think it is.

Some women are too forceful, at first. Men like to feel like they’re in control — like they are protectors, providers, etc.. As a woman you don’t need a man to tell you what to do, but he’ll be more attracted to you if you allow him his manly courtesies, like paying for dinner and pulling out your chair. And don’t exude masculine energy, make sure you wait for the man to ask you out.

Are you still single? If you are, I’d like to present you with some thoughts that will help you change your status as “the single one.”

Be Ready To Date. In order to become un-single, you must prepare yourself for life in a relationship. Ask yourself the question: why am I still single?

Are you going on dates?

Are you approachable? Is your wardrobe well-put-together? Do you have a positive attitude?

Nobody likes a complainer — someone who spends all their time whining about life and love and this and that. Be positive and fun to be around.

Live a healthy and physically-active life. Exercise and healthy eating will allow you to feel better about yourself, which in turn will give you greater confidence. People will feed off your positive energy — you’ll be more attractive and appealing.

Buy yourself some nice clothing so you can look great, but more importantly feel like you look great. You know what they say: it’s not what you wear, it’s how you wear it.

Confidence is sexy.

Ask People For An Introduction. A lot of singles don’t ask their friends, co-workers or family to help them find a romantic partner, which is a mistake.

They may know the perfect match for you, but maybe they haven’t drawn that conclusion because you have never asked them to introduce you to someone.

Or, maybe your friends, co-workers and family think you prefer being single because, well, you’re always single. Change that perception. Let your friends and family know: “I’m single, and I’m looking to change that. If you know anyone who might be a good match for me, hook it up.” Done.

Expand Your Social Circle. Asking friends and family to help you meet your romantic match is a must do, however, you also need to put yourself out there and meet people yourself.

Get out of the house and talk to strangers. Not to say that you should walk the streets and invite every stranger you encounter over for dinner. But, when you do go out, be friendly and talk to people you meet along the way. Make new friends. Spark conversation with normal people in line at the store or while sitting at the bar. Don’t solely chat with people who look like someone you want to date — it’s very possible that one person you meet can lead to meeting someone else, and that someone else might be the match you seek.

Smile, Smile and then Smile some more. Put a smile on your face and keep it there. When you smile, people smile back. When you smile, you make it easy for others to let their guard down, which usually leads to the beginning of a conversation. And once the talking begins, so does the exploration of potential romantic partnership.

Use Dating Platforms To Your Advantage. It’s a beautiful time to be single and looking. You have online dating, speed dating, and social media at your disposal — all of which allow for meeting new people who could potentially be exactly what you’re looking for. There are really no excuses here: you can access online dating from your smartphone. It doesn’t get any more convenient than that.

Create a thoughtful online dating profile. Highlight your best qualities in your profile. Define a specific type of man/woman you’re looking for and create a profile that will appeal to that group. Message people and have conversations. Be open-minded and give people a chance. Easy, easy and easy. Step outside your comfort zone, that’s it.

Speed dating is a great way to get out and surround yourself with others who are also single and looking. Explore every opportunity that exists. Expand your social circle by any means necessary, because the more people you meet, the more likely you are to meet the right person for you. I promise, that person is out there, you just haven’t found them yet.

Are you still asking yourself, ” Why am I still single ?”

Get out and mingle and try new things! Join a Single in the City Speed dating Event, Mixer or join Single in the City’s Low Risk, Pay as You Play  Matchmaking Service!


By sitcadmin | April 22, 2014
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