FOMO: a feeling of anxiety or insecurity over the possibility of missing out on something, as an event or an opportunity (via dictionary.com).
FOMO, which is the acronym for the “Fear Of Missing Out,” can plague even the best of us. Often times, FOMO shows up as anxiety attached to feeling left out. It can however, also drastically impact the way we view our relationships. For many individuals, the fear of missing out on the “perfect partner” or “the one” may interfere with partnerships that would otherwise be beautiful and fulfilling.
If you’re constantly searching for something better, you run the risk of missing out on what is right in front of you.
Here are five small mind shifts you can implement to avoid feeling FOMO.
- Realize that there is no perfect person
Sometimes we expect too much of our partners. We want them to always say the right thing, to always do the right thing. Newsflash: this isn’t always the case. We are all human, and we all mess up. Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve said the wrong thing? Where you’ve looked back, kicking yourself, and desperately wished for a re-do? Of course you have. Because you my friend, are human. And so is your partner.
I’m not saying that you should consistently tolerate bad behaviour – but know the difference between a continued behaviour and a well-intentioned (but ill-received) comment.
Remember: Relationships involve compromise.
- Practice gratitude
One of the best ways to avoid FOMO is to consistently practice gratitude. If you recognize that what you have is great, and you truly appreciate someone for all that they are, you won’t feel the need to wonder if the grass is greener on the other side.
Here’s the thing: The grass is greener where you water it.
Change your perspective. It can be so easy to focus on the negatives. Instead, look at the positives. Look at the qualities you love, and understand that every person is going to have some type of flaw. But by focusing on the good, you invite more good. People who feel appreciated tend to be better partners, after all. Showing gratitude and appreciation is an essential foundation for any thriving relationship.
- Identify when self-sabotage may be at work
Here’s the thing – our minds are complex. The mind works in truly mysterious ways. And if you find that you continually ruin good relationships, maybe it’s time to do some self-reflection.
Is there truly something wrong with the person you’re dating, or is their behaviour acting as a mirror into your own unfavourable qualities that you don’t want to confront? Could you perhaps be projecting your fears of your own shortcomings onto this person? Do you feel like you may not deserve the love of someone great? These are some questions you may need to ask yourself.
Self-reflection isn’t easy, but it’s one of the most helpful actions we can take if we want to have successful romantic relationships. Show up, do the inner work, and if you feel you need it, seek professional help.
Relationships are scary, and sometimes is can be tough to trust what we have with someone. Relationship FOMO is a real issue, but it can often times point to larger insecurities at play. Understand what you want in a partner, and when you find something great, don’t doubt it. Trust yourself, trust your intuition, and choose love. You deserve it.