A report comes out every year with the results of a poll as to the leading cause of divorce. Every year one of the top causes is “falling out of love”. This seems like too simple of a reason to be the main cause of such a complicated issue. This reason slightly beat out the winning reason of many previous years which was “infidelity”. The thing that I found interesting about this poll was that it infers that there is one main reason for the dissolvent of a relationship (whether you are married or not).
In most cases I find that there is usually more than one reason why people end up apart. Doesn’t “falling out of love” tend to go hand in hand with many of the other issues that lead to separation? Almost always, the destruction of a relationship and falling out of love happens little by little, over time and involves many signs and reasons. Here are a few key indicators your relationship is headed in that direction:
- One or both of you take your inner issues outside of your relationship more and more frequently. The walls are down and it shows less respect for the other person.
Less shared time:
- Spending more time apart than together, for example: doing more activities and social outings apart and often feeling relieved that the other is not around.
Lack of respect:
- When mutual respect is gone and one partner consistently feels dismissed and rejected you have reached a place that is toxic you’re no longer civil, and in most conversations you find you are either attacking or defending.
Tit for tat:
- This usually involves constant conversations about the same issues over and over again. You end up in the well you did this so I did that arguments. These types of arguments also never reach a compromise or an end.
- You disagree on whether or not to have kids. This will ultimately always end a relationship.
- Cheating. Not many relationships can get over this one. This is made worse when the cheating person blames the other for their actions.
So ultimately can “falling out of love” be the simple single reason for divorce or for a relationship ending? Ultimately no, because people and love are much too complicated. Have you recently gone through a divorce, separation or break-up? Pick up a copy of my book today!
Question of the day: Which reason listed here do you think is the main downfall of relationships?